It is 1:17am on a friday night, I am sitting on one end of the couch while my wife, curled up, is asleep on the other end. We had a date night tonight. We went to Bricktown, ate mexican and then went and saw the movie Elizabeth Town. Great movie, great soundtrack. I am in deep thought tonight, I have been all week. What do I do when I am in deep thought, I mean, what does that mean 'deep thought' am I really thinking deeply or is it just those damn anxious thoughts that battle for my time and heart throughout the days? I had a wise friend once talk to me about shadow boxing and how the enemy loves to do that to us. Tell us things that might happen, or that could happen, or that would happen if you did this or that, he or she would do this and then life would fall apart and you would no longer have it all together. I can't even begin to discuss the holes within this, but I see them. I see them when I speak it out, when I grasp with every last breath I have to hold on to truth, asking for Jesus to show up and be near. He does. He is. My wife bought the book 'Through Painted Deserts' by Don Miller today, I got to read 4 pages of it while she was taking a break, he talks about change, and growth and how we are made for that. To always be growing from moment to moment. That I should not try to be the same right now as I was a moment ago. Well, let me rephrase that, that we are not the same a moment ago as we are now. The mind and heart are always growing and moving. I feel stunted. But I'm not. I grow, I move and feel the wind. And it happens, it has been happening and I know it is now. I think of when I was a child my mom measured our height on the door post to her and my dad's bedroom. I loved checking my height throughout the day. It didn't change much, but then I would forget about it, and then 8 to 10 months later she would bring me in there and draw a new mark that was always higher than the one before. I grew. I grow now. The mark is higher than it was last year, do I always feel like it - no way, but it is happening. And I am so thankful it is. Jesus, thank you, You grow me and in me. Well, it is now 1:31 and my lovely wife is restless and ready to move her sleep to our bed, and I am ready to join her. Good night.