10 years ago this month a plane carrying 10 people connected with the OSU basketball team crashed.  I remember it happening but I was living overseas and didn't really experience it as many people in OK did.  Adriane was attending OSU at the time but she also had just moved overseas for a semester and was not around to witness the grief and pain of it all.  During this month there have been many stories and events commemorating that tragic event, my bro-in-law Justin told me to read the espn story on one of the players that lost his life, his name was Nate Fleming.  If you have 10 minute and a box of tissues handy, I highly recommend you read his story, very inspiring to me as a parent.  One piece of the story is letters Nate's father wrote to him periodically through out his short life.  The first one I read stuck with me - probably written to Nate when he was 13.

Nov. 23, 1993 My Nate, Sometimes it's difficult for a dad to say the things he wants to say to his son who is so precious. There are always distractions that get in the way, and so part of the message is lost. I'm writing this down so I know you'll hear it. You may and you do look a lot like me, but you were made in God's image. As a child, you were perfect in every way. Truthful, sweet, optimistic, loving and ever-trusting. As a young man, He gives you the path that you choose. Humans can't give that choice. Not even daddy's. You may choose the wrong path. A lot of us do. Making the wrong choice is not forever. It seems like it is. If you choose to be jealous, hateful or discontented, then you must suffer the pain that comes with that choice. Your life will be miserable, filled with anxiety about who you really are. You will be sad trying to be as good or as smart or as rich as someone else. You might even choose to be a middle-of the-roader, someone who on the surface looks and acts confident. He might say the right things because he knows he should. All the while, he really doesn't feel good about himself and who he really is. The real truth is that there is no gray area to live your life. It's either black or white. Truth or lie. Honest or dishonest. The one who really gets fooled is you. I hope you'll choose the right path. You have so many gifts, My Nate. Be happy with who you are. Remember, the game is won not on game-day, but in the work and preparation that leads up to game-day. Nothing can ever take away my love for you. My love and hopes for you are without end. All my love,

As I read it, I yearned that Graham would grow up knowing this truth.  I want Graham to hear God's voice above all others, for him to enthusiastically obey it because God loves Graham so much and has only good for him, whether it seems like it or not at the time.  I want him to be so secure in himself in Christ to where comparison seems so belittling to enter into.  To where anger and bitterness show their ugly heads soon and often so that he can repent and move on into the joy of forgiveness and peace.  I want Graham to not only know the truth but feel it, experience it, live it out to the fullest.  Enjoy God, enjoy who God has made him to be.  To not work to unsuccesfully fit the mold of what others, including me at times, would want him to be but instead be looking always to His Father for his self worth, purpose and identity.  Yes, I want this all for my son. And as I thought on this my thoughts shifted to myself and the desire to have these things so much more in me as well.  Not just because I have a son looking to me for the way of life but because I am looking to a Father who is calling me in this way of life.  One who gives me purpose, identity, self worth, joy and His love.  Who gives me His strength and His Spirit, who has made me unique and given me gifts to strengthen the body, the Church, and to help accomplish His global purpose for all to know Him in this way. God is stirring much in me, has been for awhile.  The stirring seems to be laying strong foundations in my heart and faith.  A foundation that will call out for something to be built upon it - it's looking like action.  It feels like purpose and truth in connecting with God's heart for this poor world. I think I am going to start writing letters to my kids.