How we view ourselves effects almost every thought, feeling, action, and purpose in our lives.  I read two blogs today that again reminded me that I must keep going back to what God says about me, not just because life and joy are found there but because that is really who I am, the person He has made me to be and the person He says I am - Chosen, Holy and Loved. (Colossians 3:12) The first one is my friend Brad Watson, he and his wife are loving the people of Portland and starting a church in that great city. Five Lies I Try To Disbelieve The next one is written out below, so please come back after reading Brad's - and if you don't already follow Brad and Mirela's blog, you should. David Paul Dorr

If a top 5 list existed of the worst moods, self-pity would top that list. Self-pity is one of the only moods that is self-perpetuating. It can swallow any real truth or perspective you throw at it. It’s the black hole of the soul.

Self-pity can swallow light so effeciently because at the root is the denial of the goodness of God. Unbelief says, “if God was good then he wouldn’t have let this circumstance into my life.”

Much of the energy behind my self-pity is simply that I think that I am above my difficult circumstance. That’s good old-fashioned arrogance. “Hard things can happen to other people, but not to me.”  Or to put it in Peter’s words, “Don’t be surprised at the fiery trial that has come upon you.” But when I think I am better than my circumstances, trials are a surprise every time.

Deep down our sinful nature believes that we are too good to suffer.  We sense that there is an inner quality about us that should exclude us from suffering.

But Jesus Christ’s example makes that belief look silly. Not because Jesus proves that we are sinners, but because Jesus had to learn obedience through suffering.  ”Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8).

So if the Son of God had to learn obedience through suffering, do you think that we might also have to suffer to learn obedience?

And that’s what stops the gravitational pull of my prideful self-pity.  A perfect human being suffered to learn obedience, and so must I.

Jesus’ obedience was life for the world, and God-willing, the fruit of our suffering will be life for others.  And that’s something to feel good about.

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I remember seeing a commercial when I was a kid, one that you probably saw too, that showed a middle aged man waking before the sunrise, getting dressed then heading into work, all while saying "time to make the donuts." Each and every day, he rose, dressed and went into the donut shop because it was time to make the donuts. Yesterday I was driving around our neighborhood, running some errands and the verse "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24 came into my mind. Typically when verses that are set to melodies jump into my head all I can do is sing the song I sang when I was a kid while missing the actual truth of that verse. This time that didn't happen, I started thinking through this verse and what the Lord was saying about it and what He was saying to me about it. Those are great moments. I have been studying the providence of God, the on-going relationship God has with His creation and His sovereignty. It can get pretty weighty and confusing at times, mainly because God is such a mysterious God and what He has chosen to reveal of Himself is nothing but a huge blessing and gift to us, anything beyond that is too much for our finite minds to comprehend, and I'm ok with that. Within His on-going relationship with creation He continues to reveal his intimacy with it, and I think it is so important for those who are called by His name to remember this relationship. Not knowingly, I have lived in my faith with the idea that God is actively involved with creation and our lives but really, he has set alot of things in motion and he is more like the wind that keeps blowing on those things, or maybe even the gas that keeps it going, does that make sense? But when I really look at what scripture says, I see that I was missing experiencing so much more of God every moment of my life. Grudem states it like this (from Grudem's Systematic Theology, highly recommend this to everyone) God is continually involved with all created things in such a way that he (1) keeps them existing and maintaining the properties with which he created them; (2) cooperates with created things in every action, directing their distinctive properties to cause them to act as they do; and (3) directs them to fulfill his purposes. Hebrews 1:3 says "He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power." The word 'uphold' literally means 'carry,bear'.  So Jesus is continually carrying along all things in the universe by His powerful word. This is amazing. And causes me to lift up my eyes, look around me and see that everything going on in nature, the sun rising and setting, the clouds rolling in, the wind, the seasons, the rain, thunder and lightening, and all that He has created, everything from atoms to marriages, to relationships to the breakfast I had this morning, all has been created and is carried along by His powerful word. I know there are lots of questions that enter at this point, I have been thinking and asking them, but I can't get away from the fact that God is so active in every moment of our lives, and how often I have missed it, but not just because I wasn't looking but also because I haven't fully believed he is always active, my faith did not fully include this truth. Science is a beautiful thing but God created science. Yes, I know we can explain how a thunderstorm happens but that doesn't take away from the fact that the next time a storm rolls in I am awed by it. Maybe that awe is the fact that God, by his word, is making it happen. In fact, He is, look at Job 37:6, 10-13: 6 For to the snow he says, ‘Fall on the earth,’ likewise to the downpour, his mighty downpour. 10 By the breath of God ice is given, and the broad waters are frozen fast. 11 He loads the thick cloud with moisture; the clouds scatter his lightning. 12 They turn around and around by his guidance, to accomplish all that he commands them on the face of the habitable world. 13 Whether for correction or for his land or for love, he causes it to happen. So, back to the verse God brought to my mind while driving "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" He has made today, not just ordained it, or foreknew it, but made it. I know, the sun rises and sets in the same way everyday but God is making that each and every day, showing His faithfulness to us, showing His consistency to us, showing that He never changes and that in making this day for us, He loves us. By bringing that verse to mind, he was speaking His love to me. "Ryan, I have made this day, Nov 6th, so rejoice in it and be glad, it is a gift from me, I caused the sun to rise this morning, I was doing it while you were sleeping so that when you awoke you would have light and warmth. Etc. etc." So this morning I woke up with more joy in my heart that God is giving us this day he made. Yes, the days can be evil, we live in a fallen world but from His hand are good gifts coming down from the Father of Lights. And today is one of them, so is tomorrow and the next and next until the final gifted day that we stand in complete joy with Him. I hope this encourages your heart as it has mine. We have a God that is not far away at any time, even if we feel he might be but truth speaks louder and says that He is near, intimate, active in every moment of our lives and all creation, and He does this in His love for us and for His glory.